Useless Revelation #1

I paid my dues, but I was in the wrong club.

Aryan Nightmare

I think if a Klansman were lying in bed at night, having a bad dream, it might go something like this:

President Obama has the Presidential Seal shaved onto his head and stands on the White House steps yelling, "Where the white women at?"

Hindsight

You know what would be really sad? Lying dead in the morgue wearing a nicotine patch.

Hollywood Breakup Shocker...Not!

I should've entered a betting pool on this one, if I knew people to bet with or had money to bet, or cared enough to bet.

Brian Austin Green and Megan Fox have split up. BAG was already too old when he played a teen on the original Beverly Hills 90210. Megan Fox is the tattooed actress voted most likely to be the next Angelina Jolie. Personally, I don't think she's crazy enough. If I'm wrong, I hope she starts small, adopting puppies instead of kids.

BAG, I mean no disrespect to you. You bring a rugged quality to your role on that god-awful Terminator show. But, dude, she is way out of your league.

7 Good Band Names

Every once in a while, a random neural misfire results in an excellent name for a band. Since I lack the talent or volition to form one, I share the fruits of my daydreams with you.

Discount Buddha

Fugue State

Phantom Booger

Pharm Animals

Soylent Greenpeace

Knuckle of Dung

I also like Buzz Slaw, which I imagine as a punk band formed by a group of deli workers.

Why I Don't Need the Gym

I exercised my right to vote.

I might have pulled a muscle so I'm letting it heal.
Can't be too careful.